The Cancer of Fat...

If I told you I had cancer, would you have more compassion?  If I told the cells were spreading, would you wear a ribbon in my honor?  If I told you that the cancer leaves me extremely fatigued with no energy would you send up prayers for me?  Would you post my picture on Facebook and request to receive a million likes?

I often wonder about the compassion of a world that does this for cancer, but practices the horrific act of fat shaming.  Just like cancer, the food I have ingested makes me victim to it.  Just like cancer the process the food has under gone continues in my system.

To make matters worse, food is a legal drug.  I transitioned from a time of pure food to a time when all sorts of things are added to food to preserve it.  Unfortunately, it has preserved my weight.  The chemicals have also altered my thyroid.  I have food allergies that I haven't identified yet.  So until that time comes, if it ever comes, I will continue to swell.

If I said I had cancer, would you exploit it for your own entertainment?  Would you cancer-shame me on Facebook because my cancer has outgrown me?  Would you share videos of me on World Star or YouTube showing me taking chemotherapy and my hair falling out while it's passed around countless times on the internet?  Would you laugh along with all those laughing at my wigs that cover up the bald patterns carved through my head for cancer?

Probably not.

But as a society, we do it to fat people.  Because if we'd just stop eating, we'd lose the weight, right?  WRONG.  First you have to move past the addiction.  Some people never make it past that.  My brother didn't.  At 21 years of age he succumbed to the Cancer of Fat...693lbs wrestled his heart and stilled it in the seventh month, on the 19th day in the year 1991.  For years afterwards, I ran scared, behaving recklessly because I was sure I would also die as he did, 30 days shy of my 21st birthday.

Well I made it to 21 and now I sit here, in my living room on my couch in the midst of praise.  Yes.  I am fat.  Morbidly obese even, but in the nucleus of my heart is the love of God.  This blog and all of you are my support group.  I have suffered  from the cancer of obesity most of my life.  I have self medicated with laughter, jokes, make-up and more food.

Attempts to thwart the Cancer have been futile.  I have been a vegetarian, a Jenny Craig dropout, went into a state of ketosis, injected prenatal urine, had gastric bypass surgery.  Fat shaming is an act of ill repute.  It slowly kills the fat person and diminishes the heart of the shamer.    Before you go shaming a fat person, realize that Fat is a Cancer...

When the Diet Lacks...Just Try FLAX

So, if you're anything like me, then the reality is you are carnivorous like a mo-fo.  I know that I am attempting this power-up of juice, but I haven't stopped eating, I have just replaced 2 meals.  I have also noticed that when I added flax seed to  my Nuttriblast it thickened up.  I find this to be great because I felt as though I had sustenance.

I am attempting to change my own mind.  Find adequate substitutes for the things that I know aren't any good for me.

The night before last I had a 6 inch tuna.  I am going to have to learn how to have sandwiches without bread, wrapped in lettuce.

I really wish I had someone around here that I could encourage that could encourage me to do this.  Partners are always better...don't you think?

YOU CAN GET WITH THIS...OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT....

 Who knew that the hook to a Black Sheep song would be so spot on?  If it was as simple as choosing the right thing, do you know how many of us "morbidly obese" people would be thin?

Let me retract that.  I do not now, nor have I ever wanted to be thin.  I want my hour glass figure.  Right now I am up to 3 1/2 hours.  Yes, I do have a coke bottle figure.  It's a 3 liter, but it's a Coca-Cola figure none the less.  I don't suffer from the traditional fat girl stigma's.  I am not a loner.  I don't lack friends.  Men are generally attracted to me.  What I may face is a desire to reclaim my health.

You know what I hate?  The minute you say you are going to eat differently, anything solid that goes into your mouth is subject to a comment.  Most of those commenting have no idea what it's like to be addicted to a legal drug.  We live in a country where things you could not imagine are put in the food for color, enhancement of the taste or for their addictive properties.

I am scared.  Genetically Modified Foods are the order of the day.  It depletes of our health and the very nutrients in our body.  They are in bed with the pharmaceuticals who created my Tramodol, and muscle relaxers to make standing with Osteoarthritis bearable.

I searched through my health booklet to see if my health plan covers these clinics that are like rehabs in that they give you a live food diet and restrict the use of sugar.  Of course the answer was no.
Low income people of color are a booming business and my food addiction will pay someone as much as a million dollars in my lifetime.  To hell with addictions.

I'm in the store the other day, in my diversified neighborhood of color and I see that a 20 ounce bottle of water is $2.16 with tax, but a 1 liter Coca-Cola is almost ALWAYS on sale for 99 cents?  What the hell?  Coincidence?  I should say not.

Tonight began with me being more than a little perturbed with myself.  Then I think,  "the rest of the world won't let up Renee...maybe you should."  I am on this journey.  Being mad won't change it.  This is day four of working through the sludge...any fellow prisoners wanna break through together?

MANGO MADNESS...

Oh Glory!  I have found fruit in the desert of my freezer!  i was so over a total vegetable Nutriblast (although I am quite aware that an all vegetable blast would completely aid in my weight loss goals).   I was in the freezer, searching for some protien to feed my family (these men I live with are all lean eating machines).  They will not participate in my new regime, I know that they won't.

My cousin asked me today if we'd all take accountability.  She thought it be a great idea for a couple of us that are friends hold each other to the promises we are making to one another.  She wants to ensure that we all have the support we need to overcome our issues with weight.

"Do you need to go audition for Extreme Weight Loss?" she asked.  "Yeah, I said.  These guys do body and MIND transformation.

In that moment I realized, Renee, you will remain fat as long as your mind is fat.  I'm not interested in looking like anyone else, being the world's depiction of beautiful.  I want to be healthy.  I want to have some babies.  I don't want to keep waiting for my life to start.This is what I feel I have been doing....waiting.  In a sorted type of limbo.  A transition.

As I said in an earlier post, I'm suppose to have the surgery sometime in March, although I was never given an exact date.  It's funny, I believe that's for a reason.  I don't want temporary relief.  I want to be well.  I want to live my life, not just exist.

So here I am sitting at this table telling my truth, yet again...

God, please...is my blogging in vain?  Please let the answer be no...

Today's Recipe

1/2 cup of Spinach 

4 baby carrots 

1 head of broccoli

1/4 cup of flaxseed

Southern Comfort

I have to overhaul my entire way of eating.  I realize that my cooking expertise is a familial curse.  After cooking yesterday and tasting, (my taste buds inundated with what they've grown to label as delicious) I looked at my cuisine and labeled it diabetes in a pot.  God knows I want my health.  I deserve it even.

I purchased some index cards to begin to interview my characters for a book I am working on, but I began to write my truths.

I had to admit my finances suffer with a bout of anorexia.  They haven't been healthy for years.  I realize I am guilty of surrounding myself with people who take instead of giving.  I am always uplifting, never uplifted.

I take on the burdens of others to free myself from looking upon my own.  It has grown old.  I am staring my truth down.

I sat at my mother's counter on Sunday morning, watching how she carefully went about cooking her beef roast, candied yams, mac & cheese, and salad.  The smells in the kitchen danced through out and my mind began to wonder how my mother would cook a Mediterranean meal and how vast would her knowledge be of healthy foods to save her own life.

Today, I ate nothing.  I snuck a piece of skirt steak that I was cooking for my son and my husband yesterday.  This sent me on a vomit binge.  Today, I was to week and tired to even try to eat.  So, I close the night with water and veggies...  

It's Me...It's Me Oh Lord, Standing In the Need of Prayer...

Height: 5'6

Weight: 324 lbs.

Mood: Depressed

So, I purchased a Nutribullet.  Yes, I have a juicer, and I have that Montell Williams blender, but the annoyance of cleaning the juicer and the lack of portion control with the blender stopped me cold from using both of them.  I woke up this morning and walked into ground zero (my kitchen) and began cleaning.  I am big on family gatherings and in my family, family gatherings mean food.  I had fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese (3 cheese), collard greens with smoked turkey, and a salad of field greens and cherry tomatoes.  My two sisters, my mom and 6 nieces and a common law boyfriend dropped in.  That count did not include my husband and son, so yeah, them too.  After playing the lead waitress, my body could not take it.  It took me half the week to recuperate and just like, clean the dishes!  The pots I did this morning after a long soak.  As I woke this morning, I realized that I had fallen into a funk that I condemned myself to, that I was doomed to stay in if I don't make changes.

I began to look at my weight this morning not in pounds, but in disappointments and false comfort.  Every friendship I lost, every job I walked away from, every false witness bore against me.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, but I realize my sin lies in making the wrong decisions.  My sins lie in opening myself up to people who have not earned the right to get to the heart of me.  As a result, more times than not, I am like the character above, eating away the pain I can't seem to get away from.  I never stand up for myself the way I should.  I allow people who don't think much of themselves to wipe their emotional feet on me as though I were a doormat and I continue to look for the best in them.  The light that might have gone out eons ago.  I learned to seek from searching for parental love.  How does a child with SO much love inside come from two people so guarded?  So I've been seeking the love I give out for years.  My experience has taught me to look in barren places.  No place was more sweet or giving than food.  How it would get down on the insides of me and warm up the places that were so cold that my very soul was chilled.  Food hid the victim, food stood with me, food excepted me.  It all made sense though, how could food not accept what it helped to create?

So here I am, one month and two days shy of my 40th birthday.  I do not want to live my life like this.  Like I'm 39, but feeling 69.  It's me oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.  Help me to detox and then to live so you can use me.  It's time for me to break my "friendship" with food.  Help me to reprogram my mind God.

Today's Recipe

1/2 cup of spinach

1/2 cup of melon/cantaloupe/pineapple

4 cherry tomatoes

1 tablespoon of flax seed

placed these in the large cup of my Nutribullet and blended...not bad.

AMEN

TAKING IT TO THE EXTREME...

334lbs...steadily climbing to 400.  I am more afraid than I have ever been in my life.  Next month I turn 39, but I'm living as though I am 69.  Hospitals, ambulette services and the newest sitcom is the way I am spending my life...I've lost too many days.

As many of you know, I have had gastric bypass, but I didn't learn the things I needed to learn to keep the weight off.

So now my doctor is talking a revision surgery.  There is a huge part of me that wants this.  I just want the weight gone.  Yet, there is this other part of me saying, Renee, you've gotta learn the right way.  Is it crazy to say I just want someone to believe in me?

In comes Chris and Heidi.  Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition.  I'm looking at their passion for helping people reconfigure their minds and then their bodies, and I realize, I WANT THAT.  I NEED THAT.

I've spent the better part of my life helping others.  My phone rings all types of night with messages and calls for my spiritual counsel and it's the only thing keeping me alive.  I have gotten remarried since I last really blogged and it has not been easy.  Although we love one another, our illnesses have taken their toll on us.  My husband is a veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars and has PTSD dude to his service.  Then due to this weighty prison, I have suffered 3 miscarriages.  Three babies, gone.  Even at home, in what's supposed to be my safe space, my time is not my own.  I have become my husband's care giver.  There is also my 17 year-old son to think of, so between the two, there is not much time for myself.  In my sitcom watching, I get caught up in EWLME...looking at Chris' compassion for his clients...watching he how has been able to lift that mirror for them and show them they have everything they need WITHIN them.  I want to believe that I have something left for me.  I knew I needed that compassion that they offered.

So, I go online to apply.  Much to my chagrin, the casting was closed, and continued to be every single time I checked...and then it happened!   OPEN CASTING CALLS!!!!  YEAH BABY!!!  Then in creeps Doubt.  (I swear I can't stand her...she's loud and she's ghetto!)

"You ain't got no car!  How are you getting to Philadelphia to this casting call???"

Megabus, I say to her in my mind, determined to silence her know-it-all tone.

"But you ain't got no money!"  To which I reply smiling...

I got God and determination...sounds like stacks to me!  So I filled in the pre-application.  I filled out my story and I'm also going to go to Philly on 2/15...wish me luck?

Tonight's Meal

My husband cooked, so no recipe, but I ate his stewed steak, with chicken flavored pasta and potatoes

The Awkwardness of Osteoarthritis

The time has come where what's been going on inside is making itself known outside.  One doctor says it looks worst than any arthritis he'd ever seen in a 39 year old.  It's not for vanity reasons, but for my health.  I'm having gastric-bypass revision surgery.  I have a better understanding of what I have to do now to be successful, I have just got to work my program.  Slowly weaning myself off sugar...and having major withdrawals.  JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

Smoothie Operator...Smoothie Operator...!!!

Smoothies are good in theory, but talk about weight in a glass!  Most of us load the blender with fruit and expect a miracle.  I am on a new journey and its been going well so far!  Wish me luck!

Sea Food and I Eat It

Gluttony is surely one of the seven deadly sins...its funny how the gods of your stomach lord over it and make the determination to reconfigure the best laid plans...

The month of June was to be my month of the juice fast...sigh...

And this is what I had for dinner...on a good note ... Five pounds gone...

When the Commentary Isn't So Precious...

Weight loss is difficult enough without the commentary of others.  I have this annoying colleague (who I have never had the displeasure of working directly with), who feels much too comfortable saying inappropriate things to me concerning my weight.

She says certain things and then hides behind the veil of "cultural difference."  I almost cussed her out.  I know I probably should not be affected by people who mean less than zero, but damn it if I don't have feelings.  I think what made things worse is that my co-workers found it amusing.  I personally found it degrading.  She pretended as though she was complementing me by saying I look like "Precious."  Yeah, right.  Big I maybe, but I look nothing like Gabourney. (For the record, I think she's beautiful, but we look nothing alike.)

Enough already.

The Weighty Issue...

I have stopped the hocus pocus and have gone to an ACTUAL doctor.  Dr. Gauvin has been informed that I have poly cycstic ovarian syndrome.  I am hoping that when we concur with my OB/GYN they will prescibe METAPHORMIN or GLUCOPHAGE.  These are diabetic medications that are regularly administered to women with PCOS to help lower their blood sugar.  Wish me luck?

TODAY'S RECIPE

Ingredients:

1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix

4 bone-in chicken breast halves, skinless

1 (.6 ounce) package cream of chicken

soup mix

2 tablespoons soy sauce 2 cloves crushed garlic

1 cup apple juice

1 cup orange juice

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

2. Place the chicken pieces in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish.

3. In a medium bowl combine the onion soup mix, cream of chicken soup mix, soy sauce, garlic, apple and orange juice, salt and pepper. Mix together and pour mixture over chicken. Cover and bake in the preheated oven for 1 hour, then remove cover/lid and bake for another 1/2 hour to brown the chicken.

When You Suffer A SetBack, Don't Drawback...Cause Your Weight Can ALWAYS Comeback...

So here it's been a year a few months since I went I started with my weight loss doctors.  I hadn't been there since March of this year and I had unfortunately succeeded in putting back on every bit of the weight I'd lost. I was 308 lbs. when I started the journey.  When I walked into the doctor's office on Columbus Day Monday, I discovered my ass, thighs and stomach had grown as spacious as the skies of America herself.  I had to be honest with myself.  For the past couple of months, I could literally FEEL myself dying.  My energy had been depleted, my body had begun aching again and I had been spiraling into a depression.  I had to do something.  I was either going to get serious or I was gonna need to buy more life insurance.

So, I had to be honest about what foods I was putting into myself, because it was those little lies I kept telling myself that were killing me.  I started off the week well.  Dr. Title informed me that if I stuck to no carbs the first three days it would be like P90X for the inside of my body.  It would in essence confuse my metabolism.  So I took to it for 4 days.  Been drinking water.  Most importantly, I LOGGED THE TIMES I FELL SHORT. 

So here I was thinking, the problem isn't the weight, the weight is a manifestation of the the problem.  I had to kill the pride in me.  Be honest with where I was and how I got here.

The difference between my former weight loss attempt and today's is I am willing to look deeper.  I made my way to an SIA meeting. 

I know one may believe an Overeater's Anonymous meeting might be in order, but I am not an overeater.  What I am is a survivor of Incest and Sexual Abuse. 

It took a while to realize that there was a direct connect between my weight & my rapes.  I've spent years doing the following:

• Hiding behind weight to be unattractive to potential perpatraitors.
• Allowing the past behaviors of the ones who assaulted me to keep assaulting me by my own behavior.
• Giving of myself too freely to those who did not deserve it.
• Slowly killing myself before anyone else could.

I've decided to make the necessary changes to save the most important person in my life...me.

TONIGHT'S RECIPE...

MEDITATION.

Good Night...

HORROR-MOANS...WHOREMONES...(HORMONES)

So here it is the 24th of August.  I have been trying to get a grip on my weight, as I FEEL myself spiraling out of control.  It took me a moment to realize that a majority of the HOOPLA was due to the monthly vistor who invites herself into your space.  I was bloated, agitated, angry, lonely, depressed and what was the unkindest word for fat?  Oh yeah, a blimp...

Saturday brought on my menses like the nile during the plagues, and I quickly put myself on bedrest.  I literally did not leave my bed on Saturday with the exception of the bathroom.  The weight of a period was taking its emotional toll on me plunging me into the depths of depression.  What does a chick eat at a time like that? 

When she is mourning the loss of her feminitity?  Her sexuality?  Well let's see...PIZZA?  Cheese burger and french fries, on repeat...yup!  I didn't give a damn!  Had a nasty disagreement with my best friend (and adopted daughter) and it certainly did not help as I slipped further into the abyss...

So now it's Monday.  My "frenemy" is gone and I am determined to LOSE WEIGHT.

I have been eating Special K cerial every morning and Special K cereal Bars for snack.  (Surprisingly, they were actually GOOD.)  I do not know if ANY weight loss has been achieved, but hey...you got to start somewhere, right?  Even if it's in the middle...  So tonight, I am thinking of having a HEALTHY meal!

TONIGHT'S RECIPE

Grilled Veggie Pizzas Alfredo Recipe

This rich and smoky pizza is cooked to perfection…on the grill! The recipe calls for a medley of veggies—like zucchini, summer squash and yellow peppers—mixed with creamy reduced-fat mushroom Alfredo sauce and smoked mozzarella.

Active Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 31 minutes

Recipe Ingredients

1 tube (10 oz) refrigerated pizza crust

1 lb whole portobello mushrooms, stems removed

1 each red and yellow pepper, quartered and cored

1 each (about 6 oz each) medium zucchini and yellow summer squash, cut lengthwise in 1⁄2-in.-thick slices

Nonstick spray

3⁄4 tsp salt

1 cup reduced-fat mushroom Alfredo sauce

5 oz smoked mozzarella cheese, shredded (11⁄4 cups)

Recipe Preparation

1. Heat barbecue grill. Lightly dust 2 baking sheets with flour.

2. On a lightly floured surface, press dough into a 15 x 11-in. rectangle. Cut in quarters; place 2 on each baking sheet.

3. Lightly coat veggies with nonstick spray; sprinkle with salt.

4. Grill vegetables, turning once: mushrooms and peppers 10 to 12 minutes (mushrooms should be tender and peppers charred), squashes 8 to 10 minutes until tender. Cut mushrooms and peppers in slices, squashes in half crosswise.

5. Grill 2 pieces pizza dough at a time, 1 minute or until undersides are browned. Using tongs, turn dough over and grill 30 seconds or until undersides stiffen. Return to baking sheets; repeat with remaining dough. Spread crusts with sauce. Top with vegetables and cheese.

6. Grill 2 pizzas at a time, covered, 2 to 3 minutes until cheese melts, making sure undersides of pizzas don’t burn.

Take ingredients to the grill along with a cutting board and knife.

Happy Eating lovelies!!!!

PCOS...Poly Cycstic Ovarian Syndrome or Please Cut Out Salt...

I think The last time I wrote in this blog, it was 5 months ago, I was in a new office, and I was on track...

Well that was then...this is now...

I now belong to an office of partiers.  They celebrate almost anything and will give a party at the blink of an eye.  What does this mean?  It means FOOD.  CARBS.  WEIGHT GAIN.  I don't know why I felt as though I was gaining, I am steady at 274.  I hate it though, because an addiction is an addiction.  I can't seem to stay away from carbs, sugar and fried foods enough to benefit from the little exercise I do get.

Well never a quitter...I went shopping.  Chicken salad, corn (on the cob), chopped chicken, turkey burgers.  I will get there...

TODAY'S RECIPE

Ingredients:

* Low Carb Tortillas

* Chicken breast

* fat free cheese

* Low carb salsa

* Cayenne Pepper or tabasco

Directions:

Cook the chicken until it's where you like it. Cut it into thin strips and place it on one tortilla. Then top it off with salsa, condiments and top it off with the cheese (2 FF slices will suffice) and place the other tortilla on top. Nuke it for 30-45 sec and then cut it into 4-8 pieces, or whatever you want

Nutritional Facts:

1 Chicken Quesadilla yields roughly...

245 calories

5.4g fat

22g carbohydrates

16g fiber

46.1g Protein

 

HAPPY EATING!!!!

Water...Agua...Vater...de l'eau potable...shui (水)...

It doesn't matter how much you eat, its so necessary to drink water.  My weight has seemed to plateau, and I realize it is imperative that I include water and exercise.  The urge to get my wellness together has crept up on me.  Food is a legal addiction; it is everywher...television billboards...

The strange thing is I am not an over-eater.  I am just addicted to carbohydrates....

So I thought I'd do the one most important thing, drink water.  I wrote the title in 5 different languages so that there's no mistaking...water is my friend...

Tonight's Recipe

A Glass of Water

1 8 once glass

5 ice cubes

add water (Can be Spring or Tap)

rest it on the counter until glass perspires

then drink up!!!

On the Road Again...

Things are on an up swing.  I am now down to 272 pounds!  I went to doctor Stacy's today, saw her dad Stanley and I lost the 10 pounds I gained.  My cooking has changed, my life has changed.  I will be working in a new office come Monday and an enormous portion of my "stressful eating" has fallen to the wayside.  Strangely, my favorite pastime had become more of a chore than a joy.  So I have taken to doing other things like writing...creating.    Sometimes the things you don't want to face are the things you need to.  I did not realize just how stressful my job had become; I did not realize that it had gotten to the point of making me physically sick.  In short, I didn't wanna be there any more. 

So here begins my long journey in my journey to becoming 175 lbs.  Lord, give me strength,

TODAY'S RECIPE

Chicken with Balsamic Vinegar

 

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves

3/4 lb small mushrooms, quartered

2 Tbsp flour

salt and pepper

3 Tbsp olive oil

6 garlic cloves, peeled

3 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

3/4 cup chicken broth

1 bay leaf

1/4 tsp thyme

1 Tbsp butter

Season the flour with salt and pepper and dredge the chicken breast halves in it. Shake off excess flour. Heat the oil in a heavy skillet and cook the chicken over moderately high heat until nicely browned on one side, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic cloves. Turn the chicken pieces over and scatter the mushrooms over all. Continue cooking, shaking the skillet and redistributing the mushrooms so they cook evenly. Cook about 3 minutes. Add the Balsamic vinegar and broth, the bay leaf and thyme. Cover closely and cook over moderately high heat about 10 minutes. Turn the pieces occasionally as they cook. Transfer the chicken to a warm platter and cover with foil. Let the sauce cook, uncovered, over moderately high heat about 7 minutes. Swirl in the butter. Remove the bay leaf. Pour the sauce and mushrooms over the chicken and serve. Yield: 4 servings.

IT'S LOW GLYCEMIC...ENJOY!!!!

VITAMETAVEGIMIN!

I remember Doctor Duncan telling me upon interview for gastric bypass,  "You do know that this means you'll be taking vitamins for the rest of your life, don't you?"

In all honesty, I would've said anything to have the surgery.  I was 437 lbs., immobile and feeling hopeless.  I knew I was not beyond death.  My brother had died at the age of 21, so I knew for certain that I was not above an early demise.  I was tired of my aching limbs; weary of the weight lifting my life had resigned me to. 

I had heard of many things, researched many things, there were many ways in which to lose weight, but the gastric bypass seemed perfect for me.  So when Dr. Duncan (the doctor I'd found) told me, "you do realize you'll be taking vitamins for the rest of your life don't you?"

He could've said "Bitch, you know you'd have to roll your fat ass on coals to remove the excess weight..." and without pause I would have answered "of course, I do!"

That was in 2004.  Now it is 2010; 6 years later and...SO much has changed!  I went as low as 200, but regained 80...(F*@K); we got a black president and first lady, and I am officially anemic...

I found myself strangely fatigued.  I couldn't even think too long because that really tired me out.  It had me terrified.  I actually thought I had developed diabetes.  After careful investigation, I found that I needed iron and to restart my regimen of a daily vitamins.  I am 35 now, I can't just hope that I can swing things like in my 20s, and to gain and maintain optimal health, I will have to eat better...excersize...and take my VITAMETAVEGIMINS...

TODAY'S RECIPE

TUNA BURGERS

These tuna burgers are really low in fat and carbs and can be served in a bun or with a salad, you'll find that their very tasty.  If you cook them using the George Foreman Grill, they will spread, normal skillet is fine.

40 Minutes to Prepare and Cook

Ingredients

2 cups Tuna, canned in water, drained and flaked

1/3 cup Tomato (Marinara) sauce

1/4 cup Pickled Onions (or Dill Pickle) chopped

2 Egg Whites

1/4 cup Wholegrain Flour

1/4 tsp Black Pepper, freshly ground

1/2 tsp Garlic Powder

1/2 tsp Onion Powder

Directions

Mix all ingredients together until well mashed.  Form into 4 burgers. Spray skillet or BBQ with canola spray and cook until golden on each side. 

NOTE: These are soft when you make them, they firm up when cooked.

Number of Servings: 4

Number of Servings: 4

ENJOY!!!

New Developments!!! The Road to Healthy...

Well 2 weeks ago I returned to my doctor who saw I had gained 13 pounds and gave words of comfort.  "It's fine," he said

Acupunture...One Pound at a Time

It's  2010.  My weight now is 280.  I don't think I want to go back to the weight loss doctor as I am concerned about the foreign substances that have been going in my body.  I was at a Kwaanzaa festival when I got information about a Holistic doctor in Brooklyn and I am going to make an appointment.  Food addiction is a mutha.

1/12/10 - I wrote the above paragraph exactly 4 days ago, and the reality that my eating is spinning out of countrol has made me re-think my decesion to go back to the weight loss doctor.  I am ashamed to go to Stacy and have her see me 8 pounds heavier, but I realize, I have to do something before it gets out of countrol.

My doctor is in the office every Monday, Wednesday & Friday.  I am thinking I will go around lunch time tomorrow and pick up my meds real quick.  If doctor Stacy is there, I MUST see her, but if not, I will forgo the doctor's visit.  I can do without seeing the guys...there's something about the connection between us girls...she's AWESOME!

Also I have decided that I am going to my friend Linda for acupuncture.  I will do whatever it takes to rid myself of this unhealthy weight....one pound at a time.

TODAY'S RECIPE 

Low Glycemic Index Recipes - Grilled Ham and Cheese

Share a giggle with a friend with this low glycemic recipe for grilled ham and cheese which tastes so good, you won't believe it's good for you. If weight-loss is your goal, you'll need to watch your bread in-take, so share this sandwich with a friend. It goes great with soup or a tossed salad on the side.

Ingredients

2 slices 100% whole wheat bread (stone-milled)

2 wedges The Laughing Cow® light cheese

2 oz lean deli ham

Directions

Heat a small skillet over medium heat for several minutes.

Lightly brush one side of each slice of bread with extra virgin olive oil. Spread one wedge of cheese on the other side of each slice of bread. Place one slice of bread, oil side down in pan. Top with ham and other slice of bread.

Cook approximately 5 minutes each side.

Bon Apetite!