Not Crashing After A Tailspin...

I am trying to find my way back.  I know trying is not the best word, but it is what it is.  Some days I fail...other days I am able to get out of bed, pull back the shades and feel the warmth of a barely there sun upon my face.  I haven't been myself lately.  There was a me emerging, a me I liked...loved even. 

Dream...dream, dream, dream, dream...dream, all that I can do, is dream...
Writers do that.  We spin our

The Leaning Tower of Pizza...

This week has been diabolical.  I ran into a bit of a tradgedy which rocked me to my core.  I have retreated inside the house, to the comfort of food and my four walls.  I got back to work on Thursday and promptly purchased a 96oz container of 7-eleven coffee.  I know damn well that this was WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE, but hell, after surviving a close call sexual violation, I feel myself slipping back to the girl I had been.  This girl was a purist in a whores clothes, she became all the things that hid the gentle heart, she was untouchable in the ways men longed to touch her.  Well I drank about half the container to keep me awake as I had not  slept all night.  I do not feel like eating properly, nor do I feel like counting or burning calories.  I reach home and prepare my son to journey to Queens alone for the 1st time.  I go to an event, then return back to the safety of my abode.  Today, I cannot stand the smell outside.  I am in need of comfort, but no one stops their lives to see about yours.  I dial the one number that I KNOW will answer...

Papa Johns.  My original intent is to eat max like 2 slices...yeah, right.  I'm done with the pie in 7 hours.  In 10 hours I have creamated the pizza, the wings (10) and 2 20oz. Sprites.  Today, I do not care.  Tomorrow is another day.  Today I want the pain to go away.

No recipe today guys, I do not feel like cooking.

Betcha By Golly...WOW!!!

I shocked myself today.  First I got up and had to go to one of the Public Schools in NY to assist with the administration of the H1N1 Vaccine.  This was my second "SWAT team" assignment and I am part of a "clean-up" crew that completes the task not finished by the regular vaccination team.  I get to my site kind of dreading it because my team leader is a major pain in the ass.  From the inception of the assignment on Friday he is complaining about working out of title and midway through the day it becomes crystal clear to myself and everyone else in the room what his supervisors were thinking by sending him on this assignment - relief! 

I am so inundated with this vaccination that I haven't been blogging, I haven't been writing affirmations...I haven't been eating well.  It hasn't been the worst, but it could be in keeping with what I'd been doing the last 2 weeks (I'd really like to maintain the 10 pounds lost while advancing toward an additional 10 pounds).  I get to the school today and wouldn't you know the "Team Leader" called in sick.  I swiftly realize that I am the ONLY administrative staff there for the remaining vaccination we have to administer.  After an hour or so into this discovery, it is also clear that no "new" team leader is coming.  I feel like one of those men in the old west when a town crisis arises that requires more law enforcement.  I am immediately deputized and made the team leader.  Sigh...does this crap come with more money? 

Ever the perfectionist, I examine the folders that were "completed" on Friday.  I found no less than 36 errors.  I took my time and corrected each form and split them into their respective piles.

I think to myself 'oh glory!  I get to go to work tomorrow!'  Right.  I get an ominus call from the powers that be and I am on my way to another school to innoculate...sigh.

On the up, I went to the gym.  Frustrated with my lack of exercise, I went to them gym yesterday at 10pm.  I decide to do the tradmill for 1hour.

At the close of the hour, my numbers look like this:

600 calories burned

4.1 speed

5.0 incline

60 minutes

I put my headset on and let the music take me away.  All of the things I was fearful of, all the things that hurt, all the things that I don't understand.  The tears have stopped falling from my eyes and are now falling from my brow, from my all my pores and down the center of my back.  I had made a goal and reached it.  Isn't it all about the little victories?  If you have enough of them, then the war is really won...isn't it?

TODAY'S RECIPE

Mashed Turnips

Nutrition Facts

Makes 4servings, Serving Size: 0 cup, Amount Per Serving, Calories 133.7, Total Carbs 16.4 g, Dietary Fiber 3.5 g, Sugars 11.2 g, Total Fat 7.1 g, Saturated Fat 1.7 g, Unsaturated Fat 5.3 g, Potassium 235 mg

Protein 2.8 g, Sodium 778.7 mg

Dietary Exchanges: 1 1/4 Fat, 2 Vegetable

Secret ingredients make these turnips taste like mashed potatoes.

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time: 25 minutes

Difficulty: EASY

Servings Ingredients

6cup fresh cubed turnips, peeled (about 4 large ones)

1tsp salt

1tbsp sugar

2tbsp Margarine & Butter, blend, with soybean oil, softened

1/4cup Milk, evaporated, with add vitamin A, canned, room temperature

1pinch salt and pepper (to taste)

Directions

1 Choose turnips the size of your fist or smaller. Cut off the tops in a thin layer. Peel the turnips with a vegetable peeler. Don't bother cutting off the root end, instead peel it clean with the vegetable peeler. Cut the turnips into medium sized chunks. Measure up 6 full cups of them. Bring 2 quarts of water to a boil in a large pot on the stove. Add the salt and sugar.

2 When the water boils, add the turnips. Boil for about 20 minutes, or until the turnips are tender. Drain well.

3 Add the margarine and evaporated milk. Using electric beaters mash the turnips until they are smooth.

4 Taste and add salt and plenty of pepper. Reheat and serve hot.

5 Additional Information

You can divide the mixture up between small baking dishes and treat them like twice baked potatoes. Add bacon bits, sour cream, shredded cheese, steamed broccoli, a big scoop of chili, or tomato sauce and parmesan cheese. Microwave or bake until heated through. The secret to getting turnips to take on the mild taste of potatoes is to boil them in water that has been both salted and sweetened. Without the salt and sweetener turnips have a stronger flavor that some people find objectionable. If you've never had turnips treated this way then you are in for a real treat.

Give it a try!!!

YOU MIGHT LIKE IT!!!!

Is It Worth the Weight?

I have a new philosophy: "Si Usted No Lo Puede Deletrear, Quizá Usted No Lo Debe Comer" or "If You Can't Spell It Maybe You Shouldn't Eat It."  Y'all know I have been trying to lose this weight and in my quest to do so I have ingested somethings that maybe I shouldn't have. 

I'm in the supermarket the other day and I'm thinking what foods can I buy to support my funeralizing the fat?  The easy thing is to say: fruits and veggies and beans for protein.   Right!  In actuality beans are another form of carbs, and without the right knowledge of your body chemistry you could very well be packing on the pounds.  Dang!

This is when I start to think to myself that I am frustrated and I want this ungodly weight off my frame.  I don't wanna be skinny, but Lord knows I can deal with thick.

I am walking past isle 4 when I see a stand full of un-bagged teas.  One of the teas is call "Antiparisito."  Now listen, no habla espanol, but I knew enough to know it said "No parasites."  So dumb me, I'm thinking, "okay, I should clean out so that I can get an honest to goodness start, maybe I should get this tea..."

So, like most full-sized people, I over-do it.  I purchase 4 bags.  I rush home, throw the entire contents of 1 bag (although the direction say 1/3 of the bag - hindsight is 20/20) into a pot of boiling water and wait.  In 12 minutes, the contents of the pot is a rich forest brown.  I search the draws in the kitchen and find a strainer (thanks grandmama).  I put the contents into a supersize mug (ain't everything super-sized?) and add to peppermint puffs (I do not have the lemon drops or honey the bag ask for).  Greedily, and even though I am unsure of the taste I slurp down the elixir.  I wait an hour and...nothing.

Of course by now, I surmised that whatever's swimming in my intestines is too strong for one cup, so I drink another.  Again, nothing...until 11:58pm.

Before I know it, I am doubled over in pain and I can't stand up straight.  I spend the entire night on the toilet, with book in hand and entirely sleepy.  Let me be clear for those of you who haven't gotten the moral of the story:

DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.

PLEASE.

If you have decided to lose weight have your general practictioner do a blood work up on you.  It's pretty important and they can rule out anything medical.  The last thing you want to do is treat something and not have an understanding of what's happening internally.  You can trust that my dumb ass will not be doing THAT again!

I don't think I have gone back to myself yet.  God help me.  I went to the gym yesterday and worked out for an hour.  I was determined to burn 340 calories.  I fell 100 calories short.  Tomorrow is another day.

I'm ready...one pound at a time.

TODAY'S RECIPE

Hungarian Beef Barley Stew Low GI!

A delicious and very satisfying main dish stew.

Ingredients

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil

1 1/2 lbs beef stew meat, cut in 1/2" cubes

1 large onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 28 oz can tomatoes, undrained

3 cups water

3/4 cup pearled barley

1 Tablespoon sweet Hungarian paprika

2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp caraway seeds

1 cup sour cream

Directions

Heat oil in a 4 quart sauce pan or Dutch oven. Brown meat in oil in two batches. Add onion and garlic and cook until onion is tender. Drain off excess fat. Stir in remaining ingredients except sour cream. Bring to a simmer. Cover and reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, meat and barley are tender (about 1 hour). Ladle into individual serving dishes, topping each with sour cream. Yield 6 - 8 main dish servings.