YOU CAN GET WITH THIS...OR YOU CAN GET WITH THAT....

 Who knew that the hook to a Black Sheep song would be so spot on?  If it was as simple as choosing the right thing, do you know how many of us "morbidly obese" people would be thin?

Let me retract that.  I do not now, nor have I ever wanted to be thin.  I want my hour glass figure.  Right now I am up to 3 1/2 hours.  Yes, I do have a coke bottle figure.  It's a 3 liter, but it's a Coca-Cola figure none the less.  I don't suffer from the traditional fat girl stigma's.  I am not a loner.  I don't lack friends.  Men are generally attracted to me.  What I may face is a desire to reclaim my health.

You know what I hate?  The minute you say you are going to eat differently, anything solid that goes into your mouth is subject to a comment.  Most of those commenting have no idea what it's like to be addicted to a legal drug.  We live in a country where things you could not imagine are put in the food for color, enhancement of the taste or for their addictive properties.

I am scared.  Genetically Modified Foods are the order of the day.  It depletes of our health and the very nutrients in our body.  They are in bed with the pharmaceuticals who created my Tramodol, and muscle relaxers to make standing with Osteoarthritis bearable.

I searched through my health booklet to see if my health plan covers these clinics that are like rehabs in that they give you a live food diet and restrict the use of sugar.  Of course the answer was no.
Low income people of color are a booming business and my food addiction will pay someone as much as a million dollars in my lifetime.  To hell with addictions.

I'm in the store the other day, in my diversified neighborhood of color and I see that a 20 ounce bottle of water is $2.16 with tax, but a 1 liter Coca-Cola is almost ALWAYS on sale for 99 cents?  What the hell?  Coincidence?  I should say not.

Tonight began with me being more than a little perturbed with myself.  Then I think,  "the rest of the world won't let up Renee...maybe you should."  I am on this journey.  Being mad won't change it.  This is day four of working through the sludge...any fellow prisoners wanna break through together?