Let me retract that. I do not now, nor have I ever wanted to be thin. I want my hour glass figure. Right now I am up to 3 1/2 hours. Yes, I do have a coke bottle figure. It's a 3 liter, but it's a Coca-Cola figure none the less. I don't suffer from the traditional fat girl stigma's. I am not a loner. I don't lack friends. Men are generally attracted to me. What I may face is a desire to reclaim my health.
You know what I hate? The minute you say you are going to eat differently, anything solid that goes into your mouth is subject to a comment. Most of those commenting have no idea what it's like to be addicted to a legal drug. We live in a country where things you could not imagine are put in the food for color, enhancement of the taste or for their addictive properties.
I searched through my health booklet to see if my health plan covers these clinics that are like rehabs in that they give you a live food diet and restrict the use of sugar. Of course the answer was no.
Low income people of color are a booming business and my food addiction will pay someone as much as a million dollars in my lifetime. To hell with addictions.
I'm in the store the other day, in my diversified neighborhood of color and I see that a 20 ounce bottle of water is $2.16 with tax, but a 1 liter Coca-Cola is almost ALWAYS on sale for 99 cents? What the hell? Coincidence? I should say not.
Tonight began with me being more than a little perturbed with myself. Then I think, "the rest of the world won't let up Renee...maybe you should." I am on this journey. Being mad won't change it. This is day four of working through the sludge...any fellow prisoners wanna break through together?