Friday, October 23, 2009

Coming Back to Myself...

The tsunami of emotions that flooded me just days ago is passing. Now that I have truly gotten to the root of the problem, I have taken the necessary steps to rip it out at the root. The first step was to chill out and take an Aleve or two. I was on an emotional spin that magnified everything by the square root of a thousand. The only thing that seemed to be working in my favor was that I had lost my appetite. I had to force myself to eat in the day and I could barely keep my head clear enough to eat at night. Yesterdays menu was left over wheat spaghetti with spinach and ground beef. After 3 spoonfuls I was done. Most of the time was spent in the bathroom shower listening to a sad playlist of what I call “soul purgers.”
I turned my Zune up to 20 and plugged it into my amplifier and cried like a newborn. I cried, sang, and wiped my own runny nose for the duration of 3 hours. I needed to cleanse myself of the demons that helped me believe that food was a comfort.
In truth all I wanted was to lie in the arms of the man I love and cry there. That lasted all of a few minutes before I wanted to choke him for being so connected to me and then choosing to remain disconnected.
 I spoke to him last night and upon hearing my voice he automatically assumes I was sleep. (In all actuality I'd been crying for 3 hours!) "I will talk to you tomorrow," he said before hanging up. I tucked my anger in because I know at that point, I was down right, truly homicidal. The menstral is a mutha!
I couldn’t find my morning weight loss pill for like 2 days, so my regimen was slightly off.

I am drinking more water and trying to keep visualizing the poster the Dept. of Health put out regarding soda and it being fattening. Every time I go to pick up a bottle or can of soda, I see that damned ad. Oh well.

Tonight, I think I will have the salad left over from lunch. I am not much in the cooking mood. I know my son will not want left over spaghetti again, but oh well, I can add garlic bread!  I am going to make this over the weekend.  Enjoy the grub!  I promise the videos will be coming soon!



2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 medium to large onion, diced

1/2 c bbq sauce

1/2 c sweet and sour sauce

salt and pepper to taste


Place chicken in the bottom of your slow cooker.

Mix remaining ingredients together, pour over chicken. Cook on low 6-8 hours until chicken is thoroughly cooked.
Serve with brown rice and a spinach salad - delicious!

Number of Servings: 8

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